We'll get you there unless we don't.
Their skilz are next to none as they really don't have any. They'll put up with you until break time and then you're on your own. Don't ask to many questions as that can push them over the edge. All they want is for quiting time to come, they're just here for the paycheck. And please
Don't Feed Them!
| Employee | Position | Years of service |
| Sammy | Chief pileit | Since before color was invented. |
| Squish | Head bean counter. | Since she discovered money, age 6 months. |
| Wendy | Chariot driver. | Before daddy took her T-Bird away. |
| Jesse | We don't know | We're scared to find out. |
| Sam I Am | Punster | One pun to long |
| Maddie | Comic relief. | No one knows but she comes in handy. |
| Pandie Bear | Hacker | Lifer, born here, chained to a computer. |
| JJ "Binks" | Swordsman | Since the Legend of Zelda began. |
| Derry Berry | All around fixer of broken things. | Since we found him under the rock. |
| Samuel | All around flunky. | 40 years. Of actual work? 2 tops. |
| Austin | Security | Since Glock came out with their 10mm. |
| Ryann | Stewardess but none of our flights need one. | Every pay day. |
| McKenzie | Veterinarian | Since we hired all these animals. |
Latest work!? We haven't been able to get any work out of them for decades.