Is this a real airline?
It depends on what the meaning of the word is is. We usually have an airplane that kinda flies.

Are you liscensed by the FAA?
Liscensed? FAA? I don't quite understand your question.

How many aircraft do you have?
Well, one usually. When it isn't in the repo yard.

What type of aircraft do you fly?
Whatever isn't being watched when we're ready to leave.

What is your on time and arrival record like?
Sammy Intl. Airlines is never late, (dramatic pause) nor are we early. We always arrive precisely when we get there.

Why is the trip to Belize so inexpensive?
We've never flown there but always wanted to. We're hoping someone falls for our bait and switch tactic.

Are your employees trained and certified?
All of our employees are certified but none of them have ever worked on a train.

I notice there are no return flights from Mordor. Why is that?
Mordor is such a fun place no one wants to come back. Mordor's motto is "To Serve Man". Even our pilots don't want to come back. Mordor buys the plane on every flight.

You fly to Mordor, why not Rivendale?
I don't like green food.